Hey Chelsea! I loved the image that you used for your background. I feel that it matched very well with your theme. I also liked how you are writing from the perspective of Parvati. That will be an interesting take. The storybook option was a very good selection for you, from what I have read so far. As a read the introduction, I felt that you were not that specific on what type of love story you are going to talk about. Maybe adding more about the relationship aspect of Parvati and Shiva would add to the introduction. I have found in my own writings that it is good to be specific, but also leaving the readers with a bit of mystery. Overall, I am very excited to see how you present the rest of your storybook. There are so many different directions that you could take it. Keep up the good work!
I absolutely LOVE the image you've chosen as your banner! It is eye-grabbing, and made me curious about the content of your storybook. The introduction gave us a good introduction to Parvati, but I would like to see a bit more characterization. The introduction is a great place to impress on the reader as much of the life and flavor of a character that you can, to hold their interest and give them a sense of who they're dealing with. The Parvati in your introduction seems like a great mom, but I wonder if the intro would benefit from having a bit more uniqueness/personality thrown in. Does Parvati have a sense of humor? Is she the witty sort or the stoic? I'd like to get more of a feel of your representation of her personality. I'm excited to see what you come up with here! I'll be following your storybook, and I wish you the best luck with it.
Hey Chelsea! Great work on your site so far and your introduction. I think that treating an Indian epic character almost as a reality star is such a fun way to make it modern and relatable. You've used great pictures to help us imagine the characters and environment and help us align ourselves with the story. I think the biggest way you could improve the story so far is working on developing Parvati's voice. I think thi will come as you continue to write about her and the story unrolls. However, the reader would understand your version of Parvati much better if she had a clear voice. When we read her words should we hear a Kardashian in our head? Is she well-educated and observant (as she seems to be now)? Don't be afraid to make her sound like a Kardashian from 2018 if that is our vision for her! Make her your own.
Hey Chelsea. The concept for your storybook seems really unique. The banner your have chosen is great for the stories you want to tell. It does currently cut off the head of Rama. I would recommend trying to fix that. Also, a direct link to your comment wall on your home page is extremely helpful. Your introduction is short and works great. The picture at the end of the introduction is a great choice. It helps me imagine the story better. I am curious on how your stories will end up. Are you planning on trying to keep Parvati personality close to how she is portrayed in Indian culture? It would also be perfectly acceptable in my mind to allow a more modern portrayal of Parvati. You could go a lot of different ways with this storybook, so that maybe a difficult hurdle to overcome. I wish to you luck and look forward to reading your future work.
Hi Chelsea! To start out, I was to say that I LOVE your cover photo. The vibrant colors are captivating and really get your reading into the "Indian Epics" mood. I love how from the beginning you throw in mixes of the modern world while still keeping it about the past. It's as if Parvati is alive right now writing it to tell us that if she could, she would have her own reality TV show. I also love the bits of humor you threw in. I am awful at introductions about myself, much less about other people, and you definitely show a talent in that arena! Immediately, I am ready to read on and am excited to come across more of your stories as the semester carries on! Thank you so much for sharing and I will definitely be on the look out for your stories! I can tell your storybook is going to be a great one!
Hello Chelsea, great so far. I like the theme of your project. I think this is a really funny take on all of the bloggers and lifestyle coaches on the internet. Your website is easy to follow and looks like it will be really easy to navigate and progress through when you have more pages. I like how people are actually able to leave questions on the blog. That was a nice touch. I thought a few of the sentences read weird. Nothing major but it may be a good idea to revise the first paragraph on the third page. Overall I like your writing style and it is easy to follow what you are saying. Your introduction does a great job of balancing your theme, while still giving a ton of information about Parvati. You also found some really great pictures. I am interested in checking back in a few weeks
Hey Chelsea! I love your cover photo and love the theme of your portfolio! Color is very bright and matchnes very well with the Indian epics topic. Easy to follow website and easy to navigate. I think you should put comment wall link in your website and it should be good to go. Very interesting story also! Reality T.V. style story will be very fun and interesting to read. Looking forward your next story! Keep up the good work Chelsea!
Hi Chelsea! You may not recognize me, but I am from the Mythology and Folklore class and thought I would check out one of the Indian Epics portfolios. I especially like the idea and theme of your portfolio project with it being similar to a reality TV story, it definitely helps grab the attention of your readers. Your introduction was well written in giving the readers the back story of Parvati. I also liked that you have a link for your readers to leave their questions, comments or concerns at, I thought this was a creative way for readers to place their opinions at. One suggestion I do have, is just to make sure you site all your photos, even the ones in your banner. Overall, I really like the layout and writing of your portfolio and wish I could read more. Good luck in the rest of your project!
Hey Chelsea! I read through your introduction and I am so excited to see the rest of your stories. I love the reality TV vibe of your storybook; it makes me feel like this is about to be a site full of family drama. I loved the link to Parvati's Column in your story, but it was a little confusing at first because I thought it was your comment wall. But now that I see it's something else I think it is so clever! You have a couple of errors in your last paragraph, but all easy fixes. You say, " the first time around Shiva did not want to marry me at first." I think the second "at first" is a little redundant. The other error is you say, "he was turned me into a fisherwoman." I think that the "was" in this sentence is an accident. Great job with your story!
Hey there, Chelsea! I was really interested in your story book based on the title of your project. I think having a great title is an important detail that is often overlooked. It is the first thing that people read and can be used as a tool to lure the reader into your work. I also thought that your cover page looked really great! The background image goes well with the overall theme of the story book. The color scheme also looks really good. I think your overall idea is really cool. I like how you provided background info about Parvati. You also transitioned very well into the first story. I like how it is like a newspaper column where people send in questions and get a response. I think there is a lot of room to be very creative here. Keep up the good work! I look forward to seeing what else you create in the coming weeks.
Hey Chelsea, I was excited to read your Storybook project because I have a guilty pleasure of enjoying Keeping Up with the Kardashian's. I like that in your introduction you gave information about Parvati. I do not know much about the Hindu gods and how they are all related. You made it easy to understand the connections between the images I see of the gods and who they actually are. I did notice you had some slight wording errors but they can be fixed easily. I also think you might be able to combine the explanation about the further stories relating to Parvati's advice column where she is going to be responding to people's questions with your introduction. That page confused me for a little bit because it seemed like two separate introductions to her. Great storybook project, I really like your theme and the way you are writing the stories as an advice columnist. I hope we get to hear about some of her personal stories as well. I cannot wait to come back and see what stories you add to your project.
Hey Chelsea, excited to see more information about Pavarti. I had no idea that she was the wife to Shiva, nor did I really think about the relationship that Ganesha and his brother had to Shiva. I do like the way you are writing, in that this is a first person experience written by Pavarti herself. For some reason, I never got into that style of writing myself, but I enjoy writing a third person narrative more so I just don't think I ever tried. I like the images you used as well. I'm glad I chose your story as one of my three this week, really enjoyed it.
I really like your story about Shiva and Parvati. The story of Love Will Come was interesting and I really like it the descriptive detail about how she felt when she did not know about Shiva. Before Narada mention that Parvati will be the wife of Shiva for eternity and how Parvati took it as like that would never happen. I really like that part and then slowly Parvati fell in love with Shiva but by that time it was really late. I could say that it was take exam of her to become the wife of Shiva. I really like the picture of Shiva and Parvati because it matches the last couple of sentence, where the sage transform into Shiva and says “your penance and devotion has won me and I will be yours for the rest of the life.” I will look forward to read more stories in the future.
Your introduction really drew me in, Parvati's narrative was super bubbly and got me ready to hear what she had to say! You did an awesome job laying the groundwork in a simple and interesting way! I liked that you added a google form to enter suggestions for Parvati to write about, that was a really nice touch!
I didn't know much about Parvati at all, so I really enjoyed your story about how she and Shiva fell in love the first time. I would recommend maybe tying back to the column at the end of the story, since the purpose of the story is to give advice. You could come back in the next paragraph and write back to "an unloved woman" about maintaining her devotion to her love, as Parvati did with Shiva. I think this would be a good way to tie it all together, because ending with her story seems abrupt, like she isn't fully answering the question! This is looking really great so far!
Hey Chelsea! I loved the image that you used for your background. I feel that it matched very well with your theme. I also liked how you are writing from the perspective of Parvati. That will be an interesting take. The storybook option was a very good selection for you, from what I have read so far. As a read the introduction, I felt that you were not that specific on what type of love story you are going to talk about. Maybe adding more about the relationship aspect of Parvati and Shiva would add to the introduction. I have found in my own writings that it is good to be specific, but also leaving the readers with a bit of mystery. Overall, I am very excited to see how you present the rest of your storybook. There are so many different directions that you could take it. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely LOVE the image you've chosen as your banner! It is eye-grabbing, and made me curious about the content of your storybook. The introduction gave us a good introduction to Parvati, but I would like to see a bit more characterization. The introduction is a great place to impress on the reader as much of the life and flavor of a character that you can, to hold their interest and give them a sense of who they're dealing with. The Parvati in your introduction seems like a great mom, but I wonder if the intro would benefit from having a bit more uniqueness/personality thrown in. Does Parvati have a sense of humor? Is she the witty sort or the stoic? I'd like to get more of a feel of your representation of her personality. I'm excited to see what you come up with here! I'll be following your storybook, and I wish you the best luck with it.
ReplyDeleteHey Chelsea! Great work on your site so far and your introduction. I think that treating an Indian epic character almost as a reality star is such a fun way to make it modern and relatable. You've used great pictures to help us imagine the characters and environment and help us align ourselves with the story.
ReplyDeleteI think the biggest way you could improve the story so far is working on developing Parvati's voice. I think thi will come as you continue to write about her and the story unrolls. However, the reader would understand your version of Parvati much better if she had a clear voice. When we read her words should we hear a Kardashian in our head? Is she well-educated and observant (as she seems to be now)? Don't be afraid to make her sound like a Kardashian from 2018 if that is our vision for her! Make her your own.
Hey Chelsea. The concept for your storybook seems really unique. The banner your have chosen is great for the stories you want to tell. It does currently cut off the head of Rama. I would recommend trying to fix that. Also, a direct link to your comment wall on your home page is extremely helpful. Your introduction is short and works great. The picture at the end of the introduction is a great choice. It helps me imagine the story better. I am curious on how your stories will end up. Are you planning on trying to keep Parvati personality close to how she is portrayed in Indian culture? It would also be perfectly acceptable in my mind to allow a more modern portrayal of Parvati. You could go a lot of different ways with this storybook, so that maybe a difficult hurdle to overcome. I wish to you luck and look forward to reading your future work.
ReplyDeleteHi Chelsea!
ReplyDeleteTo start out, I was to say that I LOVE your cover photo. The vibrant colors are captivating and really get your reading into the "Indian Epics" mood.
I love how from the beginning you throw in mixes of the modern world while still keeping it about the past. It's as if Parvati is alive right now writing it to tell us that if she could, she would have her own reality TV show. I also love the bits of humor you threw in. I am awful at introductions about myself, much less about other people, and you definitely show a talent in that arena! Immediately, I am ready to read on and am excited to come across more of your stories as the semester carries on!
Thank you so much for sharing and I will definitely be on the look out for your stories! I can tell your storybook is going to be a great one!
Hello Chelsea, great so far. I like the theme of your project. I think this is a really funny take on all of the bloggers and lifestyle coaches on the internet. Your website is easy to follow and looks like it will be really easy to navigate and progress through when you have more pages. I like how people are actually able to leave questions on the blog. That was a nice touch. I thought a few of the sentences read weird. Nothing major but it may be a good idea to revise the first paragraph on the third page. Overall I like your writing style and it is easy to follow what you are saying. Your introduction does a great job of balancing your theme, while still giving a ton of information about Parvati. You also found some really great pictures. I am interested in checking back in a few weeks
ReplyDeleteHey Chelsea! I love your cover photo and love the theme of your portfolio! Color is very bright and matchnes very well with the Indian epics topic. Easy to follow website and easy to navigate. I think you should put comment wall link in your website and it should be good to go. Very interesting story also! Reality T.V. style story will be very fun and interesting to read. Looking forward your next story! Keep up the good work Chelsea!
ReplyDeleteHi Chelsea! You may not recognize me, but I am from the Mythology and Folklore class and thought I would check out one of the Indian Epics portfolios. I especially like the idea and theme of your portfolio project with it being similar to a reality TV story, it definitely helps grab the attention of your readers. Your introduction was well written in giving the readers the back story of Parvati. I also liked that you have a link for your readers to leave their questions, comments or concerns at, I thought this was a creative way for readers to place their opinions at. One suggestion I do have, is just to make sure you site all your photos, even the ones in your banner. Overall, I really like the layout and writing of your portfolio and wish I could read more. Good luck in the rest of your project!
ReplyDeleteHey Chelsea! I read through your introduction and I am so excited to see the rest of your stories. I love the reality TV vibe of your storybook; it makes me feel like this is about to be a site full of family drama. I loved the link to Parvati's Column in your story, but it was a little confusing at first because I thought it was your comment wall. But now that I see it's something else I think it is so clever! You have a couple of errors in your last paragraph, but all easy fixes. You say, " the first time around Shiva did not want to marry me at first." I think the second "at first" is a little redundant. The other error is you say, "he was turned me into a fisherwoman." I think that the "was" in this sentence is an accident. Great job with your story!
ReplyDeleteHey there, Chelsea!
ReplyDeleteI was really interested in your story book based on the title of your project. I think having a great title is an important detail that is often overlooked. It is the first thing that people read and can be used as a tool to lure the reader into your work. I also thought that your cover page looked really great! The background image goes well with the overall theme of the story book. The color scheme also looks really good. I think your overall idea is really cool. I like how you provided background info about Parvati. You also transitioned very well into the first story. I like how it is like a newspaper column where people send in questions and get a response. I think there is a lot of room to be very creative here. Keep up the good work! I look forward to seeing what else you create in the coming weeks.
Hey Chelsea, I was excited to read your Storybook project because I have a guilty pleasure of enjoying Keeping Up with the Kardashian's. I like that in your introduction you gave information about Parvati. I do not know much about the Hindu gods and how they are all related. You made it easy to understand the connections between the images I see of the gods and who they actually are. I did notice you had some slight wording errors but they can be fixed easily. I also think you might be able to combine the explanation about the further stories relating to Parvati's advice column where she is going to be responding to people's questions with your introduction. That page confused me for a little bit because it seemed like two separate introductions to her. Great storybook project, I really like your theme and the way you are writing the stories as an advice columnist. I hope we get to hear about some of her personal stories as well. I cannot wait to come back and see what stories you add to your project.
ReplyDeleteHey Chelsea, excited to see more information about Pavarti. I had no idea that she was the wife to Shiva, nor did I really think about the relationship that Ganesha and his brother had to Shiva. I do like the way you are writing, in that this is a first person experience written by Pavarti herself. For some reason, I never got into that style of writing myself, but I enjoy writing a third person narrative more so I just don't think I ever tried. I like the images you used as well. I'm glad I chose your story as one of my three this week, really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteHello Chelsea!
ReplyDeleteI really like your story about Shiva and Parvati. The story of Love Will Come was interesting and I really like it the descriptive detail about how she felt when she did not know about Shiva. Before Narada mention that Parvati will be the wife of Shiva for eternity and how Parvati took it as like that would never happen. I really like that part and then slowly Parvati fell in love with Shiva but by that time it was really late. I could say that it was take exam of her to become the wife of Shiva. I really like the picture of Shiva and Parvati because it matches the last couple of sentence, where the sage transform into Shiva and says “your penance and devotion has won me and I will be yours for the rest of the life.” I will look forward to read more stories in the future.
Hi Chelsea!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction really drew me in, Parvati's narrative was super bubbly and got me ready to hear what she had to say! You did an awesome job laying the groundwork in a simple and interesting way!
I liked that you added a google form to enter suggestions for Parvati to write about, that was a really nice touch!
I didn't know much about Parvati at all, so I really enjoyed your story about how she and Shiva fell in love the first time. I would recommend maybe tying back to the column at the end of the story, since the purpose of the story is to give advice. You could come back in the next paragraph and write back to "an unloved woman" about maintaining her devotion to her love, as Parvati did with Shiva. I think this would be a good way to tie it all together, because ending with her story seems abrupt, like she isn't fully answering the question!
This is looking really great so far!